One Big If

I like certainties and absolutes.  The past week has held neither of those things.  We’re moving to North Carolina…unless James changes his mind.  We’re selling our house…if it sells.  We’re buying a lovely new house…if our old house sells, and if the new one passes an inspection.  We’re planning to move May 25…if the timing of both sales works out.  We are trying to follow where we think God is leading…if we are correct in discerning His leading.  We are going to homeschool in our new community…if it works for our family.  I am going to supplement our income with freelance jobs…if I can find them. 

Everything in life is one big "if".

I want to mentally decorate the new house.  I want to see new owners love on our old one.  I want to march confidently into the future, to say “we are” instead of “if”.  I am willing to jump if God wants me to jump.  I’m just really struggling with fear that we could be doing the wrong thing.  There are some huge financial stakes here: the money we have worked hard for so many years to earn.  God has given us a wonderful home in a wonderful neighborhood; it defies logic that we would leave it.  What if we are wrong?  What if we are following our own desires and not God’s?  What if, what if, what if?  Neither one of us qualifies as the emotional rock in this situation; our moods are as mercurial as a teenage girl. 

I just crave knowing.  We have two months; I want to know what to do and what to get ready for.  At least knowing the next step would be helpful.  Just knowing we are on the right track would be amazing. 

The only true constant in this is God.  He has promised never to leave me or forsake me.  He has promised that He knows the plans He has for me, that they are plans to prosper me and not to harm me, that they are plans to give me a hope and a future.  He tells me nothing is impossible for Him, and I have to assume that means selling and buying a house.  He tells me He is faithful to his promises.  So in this time of not knowing, I am trying desperately to cling to what I know of my Father.

Please join me in praying that God will confirm both the path we are taking and the greatness of His love, and that we will move in full confidence that we are operating within His will.